Stuck In A Job

Two years ago I left a job that I loved or at least I thought I loved. It was a job where I met three of my closest friends currently . Although the job was a teaching position I hated the way I was treated management was awful, turnover was terrible. In fact turnover was so bad during my two years there I trained more 65 people and they all quit during my employment. We were all disrespected each and every chance they got to do it and the owner was a prick! I was treated less then and I was treated as if I was a bottom feeder.

I didn’t even put two weeks notice in and when I quit I just quit my job. I had nothing lined up I had no plan I just quit I was unhappy Mentally, physically, emotionally. I had gave so much of myself in that job and I was given back so little. I was made promises that were never kept and even given raises that I never received. When I quit that job I asked God to give me an opportunity to grow and to spontaneously put something in my life that changed. Three hours after quitting that job I got hired at another school right on the spot .

When I got hired I was elated I felt a weight was lifted off my shoulders it was nothing but whirlwind of success at that moment. The owner of the school understood me as a educator what a wonderful soul she is !I started a new job I moved, I graduated. But then two years later I hate the job and I’m screaming for a way out . I keep asking myself if it’s me? Why can I find a job that likes me for me, the job I’m currently at they told me that they embrace my creativity and they appreciated my honesty and all the items I had to bring to the table. They liked me for who I was and not just my education background and that’s important.Two years later I feel like shit, every single day I am underminded demeaned and treated as if I am the color of my skin. I’m sure the color of my skin is beautiful and I love it it is a Caramell brown. For those of you who do not know I am African-American mixed with Puerto Rican. I am bold the truth is not everybody embraces both and sometimes when they look at me they see the color of my skin and not who I am. For if I was lighter I would’ve got that job promotion , for if I wasn’t a woman i would be given more respect in the workplace. Go figure right !

I was given promises that were not kept , I was told stories that seem as if I was living in a new fantasy world but as time went on every inch of me started to peel off . I don’t want to hate my job, I’m given demands i cant fulfill , orders , told to be this or that or my famous line oh I didn’t know you were working on your masters . Let me give you a rundown I have never felt as if I have to fake my race or who I am or even compromise my identity I don’t want to because that is who I am I am proud of that person. But every day when you were given the underhand why you were told or you feel like you were less then it really starts to take a toll on you so I have to get out. I don’t want this feeling anymore I’m better than this and i know my worth . I used this as a steppingstone to get where I am now. Graduation is literally less than two months away I’ve worked hard for this opportunity. I have applied for over 300 job applications and I have heard nothing back but we regret to inform you!

But I know someone is going to say yes I don’t know that my opportunity is coming but i have to be patient and that’s the hardest part . God is testing my patience now he has placed me in a place of my life to test me, and I have listened and I know that what he has for me is for me and I know the job that is for me no one can take that from me so I have to hope for that job pray for that job and dream that they do not take the last bit of integrity I have. I won’t allow the negativity in this environment to run me down or run me ragged ! I’m hopeful and also I’m eager to know my future and knowing my worth is how I started ! I can’t let ANYONE TAKE THAT AWAY!

Signing off


2 Comments Add yours

  1. rudymariee says:

    Wow! I can empathize with how you feel. I used to hate that feeling. It looks like you are taking all the steps necessary to make a change. Something big is coming your way! ☺️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Girl yes I hear you and I’m so glad you can relate because the struggle is real ! And I know greater is coming but the hardest part is enduring the patience to wait !

      Liked by 1 person

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