Fear of The Wait?

How long is to long? Have you ever been in a committed relationship? How long is or was your longest relationship? I have been in a committed relationship with a wonderful man for almost seven years. I am not that old but it’s like we have lived life together sharing milestones such as first apartment together, college graduation’s, first puppy, first real sexual partner and first to experience extreme hardship with. As the road hasn’t been easy finding a significant other I’m wondering right now why he has not popped the question. When I mean question I’m saying the number one most important questions in a relationship to take it to the next level: Will you Marry Me? Those words do not mean go out and get that an expensive ring you are spending forever to pay for but in fact the commitment of knowing this is the person you have chosen to share forever with. Not being too shy or cheap on the ring you want to make sure the ring is a reflection of everything leading up to the actual proposal.  I envisioned myself with the perfect husband four possibly five beautiful children and a house where it stood alone in the mist of nowhere, but that reality is false because it seems as if it taking forever, for my internal patience is growing impatiently with the things I have envisioned.

The question is when is he ready?How do you get a man to propose? In fact you cant get him to do anything but moreover when does he know its the right time?In what way will he have to give up his own insecurities for you by building up his own confidence level and reassurance that in fact you are the right one? In knowing that answer to the question is a mystery because truth is in order to get that ring it is nothing you are doing as a partner but in fact will he/she have the balls to just do it. In my case I do believe other factors play into the mind of searching rather finding the RIGHT ring. How long is too long to wait for one to get on the band wagon of nothing is perfect but accept this is our perfect, we have already been through so much as a couple and time is escaping. Others may read this and think am I rushing him rather am I rushing this but my answer to that is try waiting seven years for someone to be almost on the same exact page as you, stable or content , and confident in their self to make financial or the amount of strategic decisions you do on a daily basis’s. As we all know women mature faster than men but I have always been mature for my age so technically I always felt as if I am one step over the average person because its how my thinking aligns with reality for I am a REALIST! I had some suspicions about a possible proposal by the end of this year by the amount weddings we attended, engagement talk, rings he has shown me, favorite tabs on the computer and watching wedding TV shows. All this does is give a woman HOPE but it isn’t the hope I want it’s the fucking next step instead of living everyday content. Being content is all one may feel makes them happy for it the safe or the unseen fear of being along but I hate the word content and the thought of me being content right now how things are in my relationship scares me. Content to me means settling, accepting being just “ the girlfriend”, having children before marriage , failing my family , being a statistic , shacking up for no reason and anytime I feel content I abandon everything connected to that emotion. You may wonder if this is my soul mate, am I really in love with this person or am I just complaining. My reason is I am completely head over heels and intertwined in a way I could never explain to you, but pieces of me and what I have envisioned fall off each month, year, second and day when I see no effort placed into the thought of the next step. Why does one stay? The hopes of he/she will just do it already but I can’t be the only woman who has felt this way. The wait is the hardest especially when everyone you know has already experienced that joy of home buying, marriage, birthing children and I’m stuck waiting for the next step.

 

Signing off

XOXOXOXO

13 Comments Add yours

  1. K E Garland says:

    Have you all talked about marriage?

    Like

    1. Yes we have all the time ! But when will he do it ? No clue ! I thought this year but the year is over almost ! Hopeful !

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Tikeetha T says:

    I don’t think you can get a man to propose unless he’s ready, but in a lot of ways if you’ve made it to easy for him to see the transition in being married he may not see it as a purpose. If he hasn’t given you a clear vision that he wants to marry and marry you specifically he may never be there. I don’t believe you should ever put a time frame if you’re young and building your lives. My girlfriend and her husband have been married 12 years and dated 8 years prior. They met in college, lived in two separate states, went to graduate school and worked. But, they took their time. They were married 4 years before their first daughter was born allowing them to travel too.

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    1. It’s no rush it’s when we decide, we talk about it a lot. In hopes that he would do it I think that it should come soon. I don’t want anyone getting assumption as if I am rushing him because that is not what I’m doing. We have been a couple for almost 7 years

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Tikeetha T says:

        Okay, cool. It’s no time limit. You two decide what’s best for you.

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      2. And I think now is the time when we will be able to do so ! Thank you for your feedback

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Yoly says:

    I told my husband let’s get married and he agreed. It felt right. Every relationship is different but maybe sometimes men need that push to make decisions. If he says he is not ready, then maybe you guys need more time or maybe that’s not what he wants. Talk to him, you’ve been with him that long, your practically married already. A paper or ring is not going to change that but it would make you happier. Good luck with your love journey. Follow your heart.

    Like

    1. Aww thank you and those words you said ! We have agreed that but his worries are the stress of a wedding and I love something small and meaningful like any bride to be ! Hopefully by Valentine’s Day I will have that !

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yoly says:

        My hubby and I just got married by civil in a public library…lol…we were not ready financially. It took us ten years to finally make an official wedding ceremony but we just had it in our backyard but it was amazing. Make sure not over spend, and book your honeymoon instead. You will enjoy more, trust me. Good luck!!!!

        Like

      2. Ok thank you for those kind worlds , as I was on your page “ se hablo Espanol?”
        It’s about the union between the two and how you make the best out the love you share and not about all the what everyones says you must do ?

        Liked by 1 person

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